This is a question I know many of us ask ourselves repeatedly, but we tend to ask ourselves even more when life drops a bomb on us we didn’t see coming. But maybe you did see the storm up ahead, but you thought its impact would be minimal.

I understand both realities because I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me over the last six months. I didn’t see any of the unexpected trials coming.

Every one of them rocked me to my core! They caused seismic shifts in the life I thought I was building. If you are a planner and dreamer like me, then you always have a vision of your life months or years from now. Over the last six months, the ground felt like it was moving from beneath my feet while I stood on it.

It pained me as someone who struggles with control to cede I was not in control of the course correction God was providing.

It began with an intense battle of spiritual warfare at my workplace, leading to numerous Human Resources complaints being filed. I was in the middle of every complaint as a witness to the offenses. Shortly after, I lost my grandfather to a heartbreaking battle with cancer, where I remember hugging him and laughing with him, and he transitioned less than six months later.

My grandfather was such a beautiful example of what a Godly man is (I’ll dive into that in a later blog, don’t worry!), so his death is the most significant loss I’ve ever known. I am only comforted knowing I will see him again in heaven!

About six weeks later, my 2.5-year relationship crumbled overnight. I didn’t think we were even in a place where our relationship could fall apart right before my eyes.

To make life even more stressful, I studied for my law school admissions test while I was processing and healing from so much unexpected loss, transitions, and pain. These were some of the most emotionally turbulent times of my life.

I began to ask myself questions like…

Who am I when the life I pictured for myself isn’t going as planned?

Who am I when tragedy hits me and knocks me off my feet?

Who am I when my insecurities creep up and try to whisper away what God said about me?

Who am I when Satan wants to make a playground of my mind and leave me drowning in doubt, fear, and anxiety?

Who am I when I am standing in the valley?

As I asked myself these questions repeatedly, I found comfort in the truth of God’s Word. It was the anchor I held onto in the middle of a storm.

As I shed tears about my broken heart and the unexpected losses, I meditated and found strength in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Reading this didn’t immediately erase the pain of the turmoil of life, but my meditation allowed me to find relief in my suffering, knowing that I wasn’t the first one to feel this way or even worse!

That God himself was closer to me, and the Holy Spirit was there to console me and remind me of the joy I still had access to as a child of God.

Psalm 34 is a Davidic psalm. David wrote this while fleeing from King Saul, who wanted to kill him. David fled to his enemies, the Philistines, and now feigned madness so Abimelech would drive him out. (Read 1 Samuel 21:10-13, Psalm 56, Psalm 34, and Psalm 70 for more context and details!)

David was alone. He was afraid, and his fear was the setting of Psalm 34.

 

But in his fear, he knew he had a refuge to run into…God.

 

The safest place we’ll ever be is in God’s presence, for there is an abundance of love, grace, healing, restoration, joy, and peace.

Spiritually we have to flee to God’s presence, to find our refuge and replenishment to continue to fight and not give in to defeat.

When I fled to the throne of God spiritually by praying, fasting, worshiping, and reading my Bible, I began to find the answers to the questions I previously posed. I began to find renewed strength, hope, wisdom, and much-needed and desired healing.

It wasn’t an easy journey because it required me to confront myself and my unbelief in God. Faith is easy to have until your faith is tested. I had to ask myself, is there enough Word stored up in my heart for the present time of affliction I find myself in.

Have I allowed the busyness of life to distract me?

Am I now running short of the divine vision I need to sustain me?

Tough questions, but the answer in some respects was yes.

So I repented, and I began to stand on the truth of God’s Word that when my life isn’t going according to my preconceived plan, God has a plan that supersedes my wisdom.

He hasn’t abandoned me! He hasn’t left me in a perilous situation to worry and fret about what to do. He has asked me to trust him even when I don’t understand and don’t know what lies ahead.

We have to trust in God and the goodness and sovereignty of who he is regardless of what the external circumstances look like!

Trust can only be built between you and God by cultivating intimacy.

It is easier to trust someone you know. Infrequent communication will only hinder your trust in and with God.

You build trust with God by actively and consistently praying, worshiping, reading, and meditating over the Bible while doing your best to live a life edifying him. This leads you to see God throughout your life and in different circumstances.

This leads to the maturation of your spiritual vision. Spiritual vision will never rely on what a situation physically looks like. Think of Elisha and his servant immersed in a war in 2 Kings 6:17, “And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.”

When Elisha’s servant saw what the battle looked like in the spirit, he knew their victory was guaranteed.

If you base your identity on life changes and challenges, your identity will become distorted. It must be rooted in scripture to endure those very changes and difficulties.

I am starting to declare every day that God has never failed, so why would I doubt him. He has never failed, so why would I question him. He has always been an ever-present help, so why would I allow external circumstances to make me feel alone, defeated, or hopeless.

Most Christians are familiar with Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

But what is the context for Jeremiah saying this?

I want to break this scripture down because understanding the historical and theological context of scripture makes it more powerful and meaningful to us.

A greater understanding of God’s Word increases our ability to connect with it and store it in our spirit. We can stand on it and connect its relevance to our trial when trouble comes.

Jeremiah said these words to Jewish people who were forced to live under the domination of the Egyptians and Babylonians and then forced into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon. The Jews were told by a false prophet Hananiah that they would only live in exile for two years, but Jeremiah said to them that they would live in exile for at least 70 years. During this time, they should settle down, marry, build homes, and pray for peace and prosperity for the foreign land they were forced to occupy.

Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” was spoken to people amid unimaginable loss, suffering, and hardship without a swift rescue from God.

Rather God promised to prosper them regardless of the trial they were facing.

God then spoke through Jeremiah, saying, “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:12-13)

Over the last few months, I have found peace in this scripture as I called on the Lord and prayed fervently for peace, wisdom, healing for my broken heart, and direction.

I want you to know when I sought God, he didn’t ignore my prayers. He won’t overlook your prayers either.

I hope you feel encouraged and know that as you deal with unexpected trials and suffering in life, you have a refuge to run into because of your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

We always have a “very present help in our time of need.” (Psalm 46:1)

God has not abandoned you during your trial.

Satan may want you to believe that just like he wanted me to believe that, but the Bible serves as a record of God never failing his people.

He didn’t start with David, Jeremiah, or countless other people from the Bible, and he won’t start with you or me.

Don’t allow the frustrations of life to deceive you into thinking you are alone, unloved, or defeated. God is with you. He hasn’t forgotten about you or discarded you.

James 4:8 tells us, “draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”

God’s Word will never come back void, so believe this scripture and come closer to him, knowing that he will welcome you and reciprocate the love you give with an even greater one.

When you don’t know who you are in Christ, as the waves of life feel like they are drowning you in sorrow, frustration, and doubt, search the scriptures and encourage yourself.

When you cry out to God, he will answer you. When you seek him, you will find him! He will never let you cry out in vain because of his unfathomable love for you.

I want to leave you with some biblical truths and affirmations you can pray and meditate over when you find yourself uncertain of your identity in Christ.

You are loved in Christ no matter what you are facing!

Romans 5:8 “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

You are not your mistakes, shortcomings, and iniquities. You are forgiven and redeemed! You are a new creation!

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

Your victory is guaranteed if you continue to trust him and endure.

Hebrews 13:5 God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

You have invaluable peace and are free from the grasp of anxiety, worry, and fear.

Philippians 4:6 “And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

I hope you feel encouraged and loved in Christ!

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Light + Love,

Lex